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zanna beswick's avatar

hah! wonderful twist! I love the spare language and rhythm - good example of less is more!

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Ian Gouge's avatar

Thanks Zanna. It's really an experiment in form. I had an earlier version with even more repetition, but that seemed just a little too much.

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erniet's avatar

I like this; nice, simple, but structured with vivid imagery.

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Diana Hills's avatar

Nice to read something short and funny!

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