You are most definitely not alone...
...though whether or not that's a good thing is entirely up to you.
I attended a writing workshop recently conducted via a Zoom webinar. With cameras and the participants list not switched on it was difficult to know how many people were in attendance, but based on the many volleys of chat comments and questions, there were dozens and dozens. And all of these people were linked by one thing: they had all written books they are hoping to sell to agents / publishers.
Like Icarus, we all want to fly.
If the workshop’s comments and questions were any guide, the genre range covered by those attending was extensive: historical novels, family sagas, narratives set in foreign lands, sci-fi, stories spread over multiple volumes, non-fiction… and everyone was searching for that nugget of information which would allow them to leapfrog everyone else.
There are probably two main ways to reflect on a scenario such as this.
#1 - There are so many people writing! Doesn’t that speak volumes for the health of the craft, the creative nature of our species? Isn’t it a really brilliant thing?
or
#2 - There are so many people writing! What chance have I got to stand out in this crowd - especially as it represents only the smallest tip of the most enormous iceberg? I mean, sometimes I wonder why I bother! Maybe I should just give up now… (and Imposter Syndrome sniggers to itself in the corner of the room.)
Of course, there’s a variation to #2 which is to assume that you’re better than everyone else - no-one writes like you, after all! - so the question should be why are they bothering?
Yet in a way, these responses are both knee-jerk and irrelevant. Or rather, if we find it difficult to choose between them we may be demonstrating that we’ve not asked ourselves the fundamental questions we should have i.e. we may not have fully articulated to ourselves why we’re in the game at all.
"The first challenges you should address are not outwards towards your work, but inwards toward yourself." - from 'So, you think you're a Writer'For me there are some core questions which need to be answered in order to come to an honest appraisal of who you are as a writer — and thus help define your relationship with both your work and other writers. Let’s face it, Substack is awash with them! The most important questions are Why do you write? and Who do you write for?
Armed with the answers to these, you may find some clarity as to whether your response would be #1 or #2 if you found yourself in the scenario above. For example: if you have settled on the non-negotiable fact that you write solely to be published, then you may be more likely to respond with #2 (either variety!); but if you’re not that bothered about publication, money or fame, then you can afford to be more generous and go with #1.
I know this is a trifle simplistic, but you get the gist…
And knowing the why and who of your writing helps with so much more than how you might react to a heavily subscribed webinar which - amongst other things - served to illustrate how damned difficult getting published is.
[Spolier alert: shameless plug inbound…]
Understanding why and who can also help you to navigate around - and reconcile yourself with - other home truths, such as:
"The vast majority of writers will never create something of sufficient quality or commercial interest to be published via the traditional route." - from 'So, you think you're a Writer'or
"If you think originality comes from your subject matter you are mistaken; it resides in how you tell the story." - from 'So, you think you're a Writer'or
"Getting published is either really hard or really easy; it depends on what you mean by ‘getting published’ — and what you want from it." - from 'So, you think you're a Writer'Our relationship with our writing - indeed, our relationship to ourselves as writers - can be complex and something of a minefield. Clearing that minefield can be helped by asking difficult questions of ourselves such as why? and who?, as well as tackling a raft of other writing-related topics head-on: our writing process, Imposter Syndrome, “Writer’s Block”, planning etc.
I have tried to tackle some of these questions for myself as well as in my work as a creative writing mentor, and have pulled together some of those learnings and insights in a new book, So, you think you’re a Writer. The book doesn’t pretend to have the answers - indeed, there are no ‘right’ answers - and it may draw conclusions with which you vehemently disagree; but on the other hand, it may help provoke something useful, clear a little of the fog.
So, with my new book in mind, in the words of Ernest Hemingway:
"When you see anything of mine that you don’t like remember that I’m sincere in doing it."
Or if you prefer a more Bourbon-infused version:
"As long as I am here upon earth I will make my own bloody decisions as to what I write and what I do not write."
I hope you’re tempted to try the book out.