What am I supposed to do now? - 2
The perennial question, four months on...
It was October when I last posed the most recent incarnation of the ‘What next?’ question. Between then and now my writing time has been absorbed with completing 17 Alma Road and Grimsby Docks, as well as working on two anthologies, Pebbles on the Strand and New Contexts: 6. I’ve been a busy boy.
But now this particular wave I’ve been riding is about to break on the beach: 17 Alma Road, Grimsby Docks, and Pebbles on the Shore are all published on Saturday, and New Contexts: 6 on the 2nd March. After the launch event on Friday for the first two of these, that’s a slate I can pretty much wipe clean.
Which means I have to find things to fill it up with again.
It’s a little like deciding on a menu.
As things currently stand there are three certain projects:
My novella, The Red Tie, which is just about to enter its second round of editing. As we know, editing is that ‘sober’ component of writing - and nowhere near as intoxicating or addictive as the drunkenness of drafting something fresh. In any event, all things being equal, this too will disappear from the menu in May.
Secondly, I’m working on putting together a collection for a friend. Based on prior experience, this too will be done by May.
And finally there’s this, my Substack, where I’m still finding my feet, trying things out, endeavouring to establish what works for both me and my readers.
Taking all that into account, if next week appears ‘dry’, you can see how beyond May is already looking Sahara-like - and because of that it piles pressure on settling the ‘What next?’ question that looms over me.
A proportion of writers wouldn’t worry, would be happy to go with the flow, to see where ‘the Muse’ / inspiration took them. They wouldn’t care if they couldn’t see to the end of the week, didn’t know what they were doing next month, or what they were working towards longer term. Or perhaps whether they were writing at all.
And if that works for you, then that’s just fine.
But I have to write, I have no choice in the matter. An extra hour in the gym / working in the garden / reading / decorating or whatever just doesn’t qualify as a satisfactory use of my time. If I’m writing and can fit some of those in, well, bingo!
But writing’s the thing… ‘The’ thing.
I have some ideas of course, and some things I’d rule out. For example, I’ve decided against putting together another collection of poetry - unless an idea / theme comes along à la Grimsby Docks. I’ve also decided not to try and turn a somewhat rag-bag of short stories into anything more cohesive; I’m happy to send them out street-walking competitions to see if they’re alluring enough - and one has just been accepted for the Canadian journal, Verdant.
So the ‘chef’s special’ I require on my redrafted menu needs to be something new (or new-ish) and large (or large-ish). Yes, I’ll keep pottering away here, but that is surely insufficient to satisfy that version of me in the big blue suit above - never mind the smaller, cowering me who’s standing dwarfed on the notebook. The me who’s writing this piece!
Currently I have two ideas. The first is about a man’s obsession with an event from history (part fact, part mythology), and how he has allowed that episode to become a template which sits over his own existence e.g. modern day acquaintances seen as a characters from the past; things that happen now cloaked in a fable from 100 years earlier etc. [This is a really recent idea, so forgive the vagueness!]
The second possibility is to resurrect an untitled novel I was working on perhaps four or five years ago (and where managed to draft nearly 39k words) and to see - again! - if it has ‘legs’ i.e. can I get into it enough, believe in it enough to finish it. I may post the opening under ‘work-in-progress’ to try and gauge feedback.
You’ll have some homework!
So that’s where I am; my traditional private ‘notebook’ musings laid bare. It’s a bit like therapy - only without the extortionate bill..!
I, too, like you HAVE to write. I have found that writing a poem a day, just for me, is helpful when I'm not completely immersed in a "project." But I also find that FORCING myself to do nothing (a thing easier said than done) is a marvelous reset. Take a long walk. Meditate. Do something silly. Yes, I will continue to submit, etc. But sometimes the fast running car needs a pit stop. It's not an option; it's necessary.