We writers tend to beat ourselves up

Well we do, don't we?

There is always something with which we writers aren’t happy: we’ve not written enough words; or the words we’ve written aren’t good enough; or that piece we really liked didn’t even get shortlisted in that competition; or another agent/publisher said ‘no’…

In my own case all four of the above ring true. Of course they do. For some of them I have learned, over the years, to adopt coping mechanisms. For example, always assume an agent is going to say ‘no’, and that your competition entry will be unsuccessful.

Which is why - in the case of the latter - two minor successes in the last week have come as a pleasant surprise. The first is to have a poem Highly Commended (i.e. just outside the top three), accepted for publication in an on-line journal, and consequently being invited to read at the awards on-line ‘party’. The second - arguably less meritorious but no less significant - was to have a short story make it to a very short long-list (of just 13).

The reason the second is somewhat more surprising is that I didn’t think the story concerned was actually that good!

News of its ‘near miss’ forced me to go back and reevaluate it - and then, having done so, to consider again a number of its co-conspirators all sitting in a document entitled ‘sundry stories’. Because that’s all I assumed they were, a rag-bag of bits-and-pieces put together over the last year or two with no aim other than to satisfy the compulsion to write something. My current conclusion is that I need to cut myself some slack; they’re probably better than I thought they were. Who knows, they may collectively see the light of day at some point next year…

Which is important. In addition to those four ‘failings’ I sketched at the beginning of this post I’ll add another: not knowing what to write. This isn’t the same as writer’s block (I refer to my ‘sundry stories’ here as evidence) but rather an uncertainty over the ‘projects’ which should be getting the bulk of my attention.

Last month, for example, I spent a little over 100 hours on writing-related activity - but a large proportion of this was invested in launching my Substack platform. Which is fair enough. But that meant too little of it went on writing projects - and that was mainly because I didn’t have a clear idea as to what those projects should be. The ‘not knowing what to write’ conundrum.

And to a certain extent I still don’t. I do have my Grimsby Docks sequence which is progressing well (and where I have already posted one or two things here), and I’m working up something which is part poetry/part prose - though I’m unclear as yet as to its final form. Or longevity, come to that. But getting the boost of positive news from submissions is a real boon. As is feedback from readers.

It may not seem a major thing, but when someone says - publicly - that they like something you’ve put together then you know you’re on the right track. Positive reinforcement is so important; it’s like finding a second hand to complete a handshake.

So while I juggle with current and potential projects - and as I build the collateral on this website - a word of encouragement here and there would be priceless…