The Boardroom Table
A series of interconnected short stories from my 2018 collection "Degrees of Separation"
The Boardroom Table
(November 1996)
They had obviously spent a significant sum on the new boardroom table. The old one had been showing its age, small fragments of the mahogany veneer peeling at each of its corners. The fact it lacked any in-built network connectivity points and failed to provide access to mains power usually meant that any well-attended meeting would see a mass of cables spreading over the table, often with leads trailing to and from multi-way power bars and network hubs creating trip hazards across the floor. During one meeting - they were about fifteen minutes into the session - Ralph had stood up and suddenly said “Look at this fucking mess!” indicating the plethora of black cables. “And we call ourselves a professional company! When we meet next month this table will be firewood!”
Todd remembered the meeting well, partly because of the expletive his new boss had used. Ralph, a Brit, had been in the business just a couple of months and was finding his feet, but as the new Managing Director he was keen to make an impact and be seen as dynamic, decisive. The table was an easy win; he’d just ask someone to get it sorted and then take the credit. People would confer, murmur approvingly that “Ralph got things done”, then point to the evidence.
Sure enough the following month they arrived for their meeting to find a sleek, slightly ovoid table dominating the room. It was the colour of light birch and could seat sixteen easily, maybe twenty at a push. Along its centre, protected by retractable colour-coordinated flaps, five sections each housed four power sockets and four data points, along with a connection for the new projector that had been inserted into the ceiling. “That’s what I’m talking about!” Ralph had said in a bizarrely enthusiastic way. Once they had all settled down and the meeting was underway, Todd thought there were probably still as many cables trailing across the tabletop as previously, but had to admit that the new arrangement was far more convenient - and at least the floor-level trip hazards had been eliminated. He wondered if the old table had indeed become firewood, but rather suspected it would have been sold on ‘eBay’ or handed down to one of their sister businesses. One thing Ralph had made very clear during those first meetings was that they should be under no illusion about the unofficial hierarchy that existed in their Group - and that he was determined their position in it would be secured by promotion to ‘the Premier League’. It became evident early on that Ralph liked sporting metaphors.
What was also clear - all too readily and painfully - was that Ralph’s man management style left a great deal to be desired. In many ways his approach to the boardroom table was a microcosm of how he treated people. Ralph’s predecessor, Craig, had been a calm softly spoken figure from Melbourne who relied on collaboration and consensus to get things done. He listened as much as he spoke, and Todd responded well to such an approach; the growth in his overall standing with his colleagues had been largely down to the way Craig had managed him.
However, from Ralph’s perspective people weren’t that different to pieces of furniture. If someone wasn’t up to the job or might compromise his ‘premier league status’, he was perfectly happy to move them on. He called it “changing the team”, “transferring people in”, “getting someone off the bench”. During the first few months it proved an approach which had won Ralph a degree of approval as he’d tackled head-on a couple of under-performers, people who had needed to be replaced for some while but who had remained in situ because Craig had lacked the mean streak required to deal with them. Some said he was too soft, too willing to believe in the best of people. Ralph said he was weak - “Within these four walls, of course!”
Although he was instinctively cautious as far as Ralph went, initially Todd was prepared to cut him some slack; he had, after all, improved the team through his ‘transfer policy’, and the numbers at the end of his first quarter had suddenly jumped back into positive territory. That was good for all of them. Todd had hoped that having deliberately set out to make waves and shake things up, Ralph would then settle down and take a more measured approach - one more akin to Craig’s.
It proved to be a wish that was to remain unsatisfied. Once Ralph had got the ball rolling, once he had “pulled them back from the brink of defeat”, he upped the ante even more, became even more authoritarian. Those who responded well to such a brutal style - Chris from Operations and Declan from Manufacturing in particular - lapped it up. In Todd’s eyes they became fawning acolytes, and the more they fawned the more Ralph leant on them.
Todd began to see the cracks appearing after around six months. Chris and Declan were working sixty hour weeks. In order to get through their work, they had become reclusive and incommunicative; and more or less everyone else on the team was trying to up their game to stay in Ralph’s good books. Some of his colleagues - excluding Chris and Declan - began to talk about the two Execs Ralph had let go, deciding that “they weren’t so bad after all”, and in after-work drinking sessions Craig was more than once posthumously heralded as the embodiment of a model manager.
In many respects Todd was lucky. He had found a niche for himself in Research & Development and, under Craig’s guidance, been promoted to head of function. Theirs was a complex and somewhat protected department; everyone knew that’s where the real brains of the company lay, and that they needed to be left alone “to do their thing”. Break R&D and the business would suffer. Because of this - and because Ralph didn’t really understand R&D - most of the time he left Todd to manage himself and his people. Occasionally there would be the odd explosion, a rocket sent in his direction, but he - along with Laura, the HR Manager - were on relatively safe ground.
Dela wasn’t so lucky. She had been parachuted in to run the Finance function some nine months previously, taking interim control until the incumbent returned from a prolonged period of medical leave. When they didn’t come back, Craig gave her the job full-time. Everyone knew she was out of her depth, but she got by thanks to Craig’s patience and the solid support and understanding of her colleagues. One or two - and Declan in particular who had never warmed to Dela - had openly speculated whether she might be next for Ralph’s chop. However, given Ralph was focussed elsewhere in the first few months - and then busy basking in the glory of seeing the numbers turn - it appeared she might survive. Todd hoped so. He liked Dela; she was one of the more sociable types - and one who actually made a real effort to try and understand what he and his team did.
It was Declan who “started the ball rolling”, the phrase coming to him as being redolent of one of Ralph’s clichés. Partly due to his enormous workload and partly out of something akin to spite, Declan reduced his support for Dela, choosing to be slightly less helpful with production of the month-end figures than she needed him to be. It only took a moment to sew the seed.
“Do you have the report for Declan’s area?” Ralph had asked. It had been a routine question, asked in an open forum.
She had pushed some papers towards him.
“Output up just under two percent; margin impact neutral.”
“Interesting,” Ralph had said fingering the sheets somewhat vaguely. Todd saw the warning signs immediately. “Declan’s own numbers - which I’ve gone through with him thoroughly - suggest nearly three percent and a one percent margin benefit.”
He let the statement hang there, teetering on the verge of being a question but not quite toppling over.
“Really?” Dela shot Declan a look that blended confusion with animosity. “I’ll take another look, of course. Declan, if you can show me where you got your numbers from…”
Declan nodded graciously and passed her a pack similar to the one he had previously given Ralph. Todd could see he had come prepared.
Dela entered the next monthly session a few minutes late, slightly flustered. Todd noted how Declan and Chris exchanged glances then looked towards Ralph, the three of them sitting as a little triumvirate at the top of the table. He knew what was coming; he had seen it before, in those early days. He now knew how Ralph operated and could tell his mind was already made up.
The meeting followed its usual pattern; each of Ralph’s direct reports would give their update for the month, presenting achievements, progress and issues to the team. His own slot passed with little incident. His team was working on the final details for a new product, and Ralph emphasised how important this was to all of them, and how, in two months’ time, he was expecting a full briefing for the team. Todd would be front-and-centre then.
When it came to her turn, Dela plugged her laptop into the projector and started walking them through the headline numbers for the business unit. Todd noticed Ralph almost immediately engaged in sidebar conversations with Declan and Chris. Their rudeness annoyed Todd; it appeared Ralph wasn’t listening or concerned.
“Can you just go back,” Ralph suddenly said as Dela skipped on a slide, abruptly demonstrating that he had indeed been paying attention. It was an ability that alarmed them all. “That number there; the 4.2 percent. Is that correct?”
“I’m sorry,” Dela was slightly taken aback, “what do you mean?”
“I mean, is it correct? You’re sure it’s 4.2 and not 4.1 or 4.4?”
“We ran all the standard reports from the system, just as we always do, then checked the output twice. I don’t understand why it wouldn’t be correct.”
Ralph looked at Chris who, saying nothing, just shrugged his shoulders. There was a short and uncomfortable pause and then Dela pressed on, clearly rattled. Two slides later, Ralph stopped her again.
“Why isn’t the bad debtors’ figure going down? We all agreed that it should.”
“It is going down, Ralph,” Dela was clearly on the defensive. “It’s down two percent on last month. I can show you the figures…”
“Two percent!” He laughed. “That’s no bloody use is it? Two percent.”
All eyes were focussed on him, but when it was obvious that he was going to say nothing more, everyone looked back towards Dela. It was instinctive. The team felt for her - some more than others - and it was clear she was in his cross-hairs. She made some remark about revalidating the numbers, and then pushed on. Ralph disengaged, and for the remainder of her session was talking almost incessantly with Declan.
“That went well,” she said to Todd as they left the boardroom.
“It was just your turn,” Todd suggested. “Maybe it will be me next month.”
But it wasn’t. It was Dela’s turn again. This time Ralph paid almost no attention to what she was saying from the moment she started her slot. When it came to the bad debtors’ number, Todd felt Dela hesitate before she reconfirmed the previous month’s data and then reported a further three percent reduction.
“We’ll never get there at this fucking rate,” Ralph said to Chris, but loud enough so that everyone could hear.
“That’s not fair, Ralph.”
Todd’s words had escaped before he could do anything about them. All eyes turned his way.
“What?” said Ralph.
One of Ralph’s favourite phrases - ‘there’s blood in the water’ - was suddenly front-and-centre in Todd’s mind. It might not be just Dela’s blood now. He had to respond.
“I don’t think what you said is fair. We’ve all got a hand in the bad debtor’s number. I know it’s Dela’s department who have the responsibility, but she needs others” - Todd looked at Declan with meaning - “who have a part to play.”
“Well, Todd, let me tell you this. I think what I said is fair. You’re right, it’s Dela’s ‘R’, and clearly the numbers are not good enough, are they?”
“Maybe they’re not what we targeted…”
“I rest my case!” interjected Ralph triumphantly.
“…but there’s no need to be rude about it.”
“Rude?!”
In spite of himself, Todd felt the water becoming saturated.
“You and Declan have been talking through Dela’s whole presentation. She’s tried to explain the numbers. I think the rest of us are on-board.”
Todd let the words drift across the table, glancing around in the hope that someone would back him up. Settling on Dela last, he could see at least she was grateful for his intervention.
“Well, well,” said Ralph, stepping into the centre of the silence. “I’m being rude am I? Well I’m very fucking sorry, Todd. But from where I’m sitting the numbers aren’t under control, and they’re not coming down as fast as they should. And it’s my fucking arse on the line when I have to present these to Greg and the Exec Board. Comprendi?”
“Of course…”
“And on that basis, it’s my job to do something about it, isn’t it? And how I choose to do that is down to me - or do you have a different view you’d like to share with us?”
Once again they were all looking at Todd. Declan, smiling, whispered a comment to Chris loud enough to ensure Ralph also heard it. Ralph smiled
“Well?”
“Of course, but there’s no need to be such a bully about it…”
There were one or two gasps which escaped at that point, most noticeably from Laura who - like the rest of them - had been keeping their heads down. Ralph, whose face had reddened perceptibly, looked her way. There was a challenge in his eyes that seemed to say “if you’re going to say something, you’d better say it now.” She remained silent.
“Well,” Ralph said, his voice trembling as he tried to keep it under control. “Now I’m a bully, am I? That’s not company policy, is it Laura?” She remained silent, as he had known she would. “Dear, dear. Who else agrees with our friend from R&D?” Silence. He paused for effect. “I’m afraid you’ve just crossed a line, Todd. I’ve known all along what you think about me, so I’m not surprised at your outburst. And I’m almost impressed that you should choose to do so in defence of a colleague considering it wasn’t even your turn.” Ralph looked around the table, letting everyone know that their time would come. “But let’s make it your turn, shall we? Yours and Dela’s. Right now. You’ve done me a favour; saved me some time. ‘Kill two birds with one stone’. Chris, get the IT guys to rescind Dela and Todd’s systems’ access immediately; email, everything. You two, leave your stuff here and get out. You’re fired, both of you; incompetence and insubordination. Laura will be in touch, won’t you Laura?”
Neither Dela nor Todd moved. No-one spoke.
“Well? Go on, get out. Out. Straight out. Get your coats and bags or whatever, and just get the fuck out of here. Go!”
Apart from Ralph, Declan and Chris, everyone else looked down as Dela and Todd walked to the door, opened it, and left. All they could focus on was the nearly-new birch table.
For links on where to buy Degrees of Separation, click here.