"Never get old..."

Montgomery Clift and Frank Sinatra in From Here to Eternity

Though it wasn’t old age that did for Frank Sinatra - not in From Here to Eternity, anyway.

I last saw my late father-in-law around two years ago; he had become a frail bent old man, nothing like the tall enthusiastic person I’d met nearly thirty years previously. We had been walking (slowly) through Keswick in the Lake District just after his sister’s funeral - he leaning heavily on his cane - when he looked at me and said “Never get old”. And he wasn’t the kind of man to dish out advice willy-nilly…

Of course it is advice that’s impossible to follow, no matter how much I - or the rest of us! - might want to. I don’t yet resent ageing as much as Michael did that day, but perhaps inevitably that feeling is growing.

Getting older is a double-edged sword; like many things in life there are pros and cons. And - as is so common - we tend to focus on the negative, don’t we? Which is hardly constructive.

So, in part prompted by the wonderful still above, here’s my tenpenneth…

The Cons

• Bits of you start falling off or stop working - which I suppose is the major issue! I am just about resigned to the fact that I’ll never run another marathon nor beat my best 10k time (46:09, if you’re interested). There’s regret there, simply down to the absence of running…

• Your memory starts to slide a little; not, I hope, in the major things from your life but rather when you’re trying to recall that actor… - “What’s his name? In that series; you know, the one with thingy in it…” - It’s almost funny - except when it isn’t.

• From a writer’s perspective, sometimes the odd word starts to elude you. There’s one there, the one you want, but you can’t quite get to it. ‘The tip of your tongue’ becomes a little wider, set a little further back in the mouth…

• And you start to worry about things you can do very little to influence. This isn’t about mortality per se, but what the journey to get there might look like. The spectre of dementia, Alzheimer’s etcetera lurks in the background.

But perhaps most of all you worry about the finite nature of time - and how much of it you may still have at your disposal.

The Pros (especially from a writer’s perspective…)

• Your are still learning, still garnering knowledge and experience - and, hopefully, managing to turn all of that into wisdom. I know more today than I did yesterday (even if I temporarily forgot thingy’s name along the way).

• With all that experience, you realise that there is so much more to write about, that your stock of potential stories and opportunities is increasingly inexhaustible. Perhaps it has something to do with wisdom, but I feel as if I now appreciate the ‘richness’ of life more than ever.

• Maybe this is just down to wisdom again, but I think we become more adept at filtering out what’s unimportant and learning to focus on the vital. And not just in writing; but also in conversation, making choices, politics etcetera. I hope - if we approach our ageing in the right way - that our integrity improves too, and our honesty. If it doesn’t, what does that say about us as individuals?

• And in terms of writing, all of the above also applies: I’ve experienced more and I’ve written more, therefore I know more about the craft; knowing more about the craft, I better appreciate what does and doesn’t work; I can be more ‘honest’ and genuine in my writing; I can filter out (edit!) much more effectively.

Conclusion? Shouldn’t getting older make you a better writer?

You will have spotted the irony. There are some things on the ‘pro’ side that are clearly countered by those on the ‘con’ side. I’ve no need to spell them out.

But taken as a package overall?

I’d say the ‘pros’ have the edge. And let’s face it, you might just as well say that as there’s little you can do about the negative side..!

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