Much depends on 'Yes' or 'No'...
A two-part post: before and after a competition announcement.
Monday 30th June
I should say upfront — and in all honesty — I do not expect good news from this evening’s long-list announcement for the novel competition to which I submitted a few weeks ago. But it is a novel competition, and this year is the first time I have ever entered such a fray.
“Send us your first five thousand words and a synopsis, and — if we like what you’ve sent us — we may long-list you, at which point we’ll ask you to send us the rest.”
So, another 60+ thousand words ready to be emailed…
It’s odd, this sense of trepidation. Normally when I send short stories or poems into battle I immediately forget about them, only remembering them when the email arrives saying I’ve not been successful or — less frequently! — that I have. (A feeling we all know.) More often than I’d like, I hear nothing at all of course — but then we all know that feeling, too… However, prompted by a recent email reminding entrants that a decision is imminent, this time what that email has done is to succeed in setting me on edge.
Daft really. Daft because the competition will have been fierce — and because I’m not expecting to be listed… Honest.
Having said that, is inexhaustible hope — and the more general and inexorable torture of ‘what next?’ — one of the reasons my output last week (in terms of hours spent working) has been my lowest for the entire year? Perhaps. But then it has also been so hot; I also had a touch for ‘man ‘flu’ for a couple of days, and faced concerns over whether new BP medication was working or not… Searching for excuses, as you can see.
All of which means that by first thing tomorrow morning multiple elements will have resolved themselves: the heat will have started to subside; the residual impact of ‘bug’ should have been chased away; I can relax a little knowing my BP is now much lower and more stable. Oh yes, and I’ll know about the long-listing thing.
Time to gird the loins, push on again. One way or another.
So I thought it might be fun/interesting to put something ‘unmanufactured’ down in the vein of ‘before’ and ‘after’ — if only for posterity’s sake… I won’t touch this part of the entry once I hear about the long-listing.
P.S. The two notebooks I recently ordered (and which obviously I don’t actually need) have now arrived. What to fill them with, that’s the question. [See what I mean about “the more general and inexorable torture of ‘what next?’”…?]
Tuesday 1st July
It turns out that there were nearly 3,000 entries for the novel competition! On that basis alone it’s hardly surprising not to have found myself long-listed. Against that volume it would have been miraculous to be chosen. Were there only 17 entries and I’d not been long-listed, well, that would have been a different matter entirely!
So, not surprised and not disappointed. With so many entries (and quality notwithstanding) isn’t that a positive statement as to the health of novel writing — and a salutary reminder as to how competitive the field is?
So what now then?
Next Tuesday afternoon I have a solo public reading at a hotel near where I live. [Link] Having started rehearsing over the last few days (mainly prose — short stories & novel extracts — plus the odd poem) that’s one thing to focus on for this week. It’s my second appearance at the event.
In addition, I’m going to try and finish the first draft of another novel I’ve been working hard on recently — and on-and-off for a number of years! Over 74k words now and the final total looking closer to 90k. I think I’ve reached the point where I know I’m going to finish it! Then I’ll put it aside for a month or two after which lots of rounds of editing, maybe to end up with something I can submit to a novel competition next year…!
I have another long-standing and part-finished work which may subsequently get the same treatment, I’m not sure. And then there are those notebooks…
There are often moments of reflection/planning/angst like this in my writing journey. They feel a little like me sighing, putting my favourite album on the turntable, and then playing that one track I always play. You know the one: you’ve known the words for years; the track’s groove seems slightly deeper than all the others; and sometimes you feel as if you could throw the record away because you don’t really need it to listen to the song any more — but habit and affection just won’t let you…
Onwards and upwards.
“Show up, dig deep, do the work!”